How To Do Anal August Right
Anal Play Tips to Ass-ure More Pleasure
While anal play might conjure an association of only doing it doggy style, it can encompass a variety of positions and acts such as rimming, fingering, playing with toys, or penetration. It’s also shifting away from a taboo history and into the healthy sex lives of many couples.
For some sexually active people, anal play is an anytime and favorite sex activity. For others, it’s à la carte. Before getting started with anal play, there are definitely some tips to keep in mind to ensure a good time. Also, did you know that anal orgasms are a thing? Yep, according to an earlier survey, out of 8,000 women, 42% had anal orgasms.
What to know getting started
Common concerns about anal play are that it will hurt or make a mess. There are plenty of tips to ensure that anal play is pleasurable for you with minimal pain, and you can adjust to small doses before taking a belly flopping into it. If at any time you experience pain, this is your body’s indication to stop.
Here’s the thing—making a mess (AKA poop) during anal play depends largely on the type of penetration. Utilizing smaller butt plugs or tongues generally leaves less to worry about. Longer dildos, toys, or anal sex with a penis extend further up the rectum, which can be tougher to clean even with douching. Messier sex usually comes with a lot of motion, AKA inserting a toy or penis in and out of the anus many times or at a fast pace. You’ll want to use the bathroom before anal play. Contrary to popular belief, there’s no written rule that you need to douche beforehand; it’s entirely a personal decision.
Messy anal sex is a solvable problem. If you can’t relax because of the fear of mess, starting out with anal play in a shower can help absolve your concerns.
Anal foreplay is ass-ential
While skipping or shortening foreplay may be an action for hot impassioned sex for some, it’s absolutely a requirement not to miss it for anal play. Especially if you are newer to exploring anal sex, taking time to acclimate both your mind and nerve endings to what’s happening is especially important.
Anal foreplay can encompass a variety of different things and might be different for different people. Trying a sacral or lower back massage first can help someone relax before diving in. Exploring pleasurable types of touch can also help. For some, having an orgasm beforehand can help people relax in preparation for anal.
- You only want to move forward when everyone is ready
- You can feel the anal muscles relax. If things feel tight and restricted, spend more time with anal foreplay
- After massaging the lower back, you can massage your partner’s cheeks before going to the anus.
- The anus is full of nerve endings; using your tongue can help a partner relax, and because it’s an erogenous zone, it can feel amazing. For safer sex, feel free to use a dental dam or cut a condom into a rectangle as a barrier.
- Get comfortable with anal sensations! If you’re unable to relax, don’t move on or feel like you’ve done anything wrong. Sometimes, it takes months for people to get comfortable with anal play.
- Start by stimulating the outside of the anus with a finger, vibrator, or your mouth. You don’t need to wait until penetration to start using lube.
Anal play tips
Ready to move on? First thing’s first—communication before, during, and after anal play is key. If you and your partner have never explored anal play, you’ll want to talk about who will be the receiver and what you both want from the situation.
- Start small
For anal play, size does matter. You’ll want to start small and proceed gradually rather than going all in at once because that will most likely cause pain. If using toys, start with a small butt plug or dilator. Even with fingers, insert just the tip first and let your partner’s anus acclimate to the sensation of fullness.
- Start slowly
How can you tell if your partner is ready for more? It’s easy. The first answer is to ask them, and they will tell you if they like the level of fullness, need more time before they are ready for more, or are prepared to move on. You don’t want to use rapid-fire movement; instead, air on the side of letting the receiver guide you. You will also be able to feel the anal muscles relax. Watch your partner’s body language for cues that they are tense such as stiff muscles, curled fists, or shallow breathing. If you observe any of these cues, check in with your partner!
- Think you have enough lube? Use more!
With anal play, the more lube, the better. You might aim for silicone or oil-based lube as they typically last longer than water-based lubricants. Make sure to use lube on the outside of the anus, on the toy you are inserting, and reapply it frequently.
- Start with yourself
New to anal play? Whether you or your partner is the one receiving, you can explore yourself to get a better idea of what sensations they might feel. Knowing what anal feels like beforehand can also help you relax more.
- Don’t ignore the clit
If the receiving partner has a clit, don’t bypass it! Clitoral stimulation can help someone relax and can help heighten pleasurable sensations from anal play.
- Nail hygiene is more important than you think
Keep your fingernails short and filed; be sure to cut any dangling cuticles. This may seem like a minor detail, but jagged edges are no friend of anal play.
- Establish a safe word beforehand
Establish a safe word that signals slow down, stop, or anything else you might need, like more connection, talking to, spanking, or whatever else you need to help you stay relaxed or grounded during anal play.
Ready for anal play? Make sure to lay out your lube and toys beforehand to make the experience more pleasurable.