Intimacy is one of the main pillars of a healthy Long-Distance Relationship (LDR), but it’s difficult to create and maintain when there’s so much distance between you. A lack of intimacy and closeness can be one of the main reasons LDRs fail, and here’s why!
What Is Intimacy?
First, what does intimacy mean in your LDR? You see, intimacy means different things to different people. Some people describe it as a closeness they feel, or feeling safe, loved, wanted, and accepted. Others consider it more physical in nature, so try to determine what intimacy means to you as a couple specifically.
There are two things to consider in intimacy and these are the physical and emotional aspects. True intimacy is a balance between them..
Why Is It important?
Let’s look at why intimacy is essential in your LDR, and what you can to improve it.
Intimacy ‘cheat-proofs’ your relationship
A lack of intimacy is the number one cause of failed relationships. If you or your partner feel that there’s not enough physical closeness, one of you might give up on your relationship and start seeking intimacy somewhere else. Perhaps with someone closer. Men are more common to seek physical intimacy elsewhere, while women might first start seeking emotional intimacy. Both can signal the end of your LDR.
It helps you take care of each others’ happiness
That deep insight into one another is the foundation for everything else you build together. There is something empowering about knowing your partner this deeply, knowing what makes them tick, and knowing which buttons to push to pleasure them and keep them satisfied and happy.
It helps you to be honest and open
You should be comfortable with sharing everything with your partner and openly talk about your emotional and physical needs without worrying about being judged. Emotional intimacy can help achieve that level of honesty and openness. For LDRs specifically, being open is even more important as you need trust to maintain your relationship over the long-distance.
It brings you closer and keeps you invested
Empathy and understanding of your partner’s feelings is the basis of support and closeness in your LDR. Sharing your deepest thoughts, desires, fears, and worries is what brings you closer together and keeps you invested. Confide in each other so you can give and receive the emotional and physical support that you need.
It helps build communication
A lack of communication with your partner is the reason why so many couples live like complete strangers. Not knowing or understanding each other’s lives can create an emotional distance that breeds mistrust and can make you both feel unloved. Which in turn stops you from wanting to be intimate together.
It’s what makes your relationship more than a friendship
Intimacy helps you get to know your partner on a level that others don’t – and you are confident on how they would act and react. Without intimacy, and fulfilling both the physical and emotional needs of each other, the relationship is nothing more than a friendship.
But how can you achieve this level of intimacy if you’re in a long-distance relationship? After all, it’s not like you can touch each other, or always have the right time to share your needs and wants, so how can you avoid being pent up, frustrated, and really feeling the distance?
The beauty of long-distance relationships is that you get to experience love and intimacy in a unique way. You might not spend every free minute of your day together, but you can still let your partner know you are thinking of them, even in naughty ways.
So, how can you be intimate in an LDR?
Make time for each other
LDRs require more effort from both of you, and you should make it a priority to make time for each other even when you’re super busy or when you’re having a bad day.
Share everything with your partner, so that they know what’s going on in your life. Besides, you should never be so busy that you set your partner aside. A quick, five-minute call when you are rushing from one task to another can make all the difference for the health of your LDR. It shows your partner that you’re thinking of them even when you’re far away swamped with work.
Write letters and emails
If you don’t have time for a call or don’t feel like talking right now, or you know your partner is busy and won’t be able to pick up, don’t feel bad! But don’t skip on communication either!
Instead, write an email to your partner, or better yet, try the traditional route and write a proper letter. Many LDR couples write letters to each other on a regular basis. It’s a sweet tradition and really shows that you take time to share your life with each other even if you’re apart.
Text, text, and text (and don’t be afraid to be a bit naughty!)
Send your partner a quick text and let them in on what you’re up to, or share your naughty thoughts about them. You can say a lot with just a few words, and you can keep your partner excited and wanting throughout your day.
When I found myself in an LDR with my boyfriend, this was the first thing I did – and, girls, did it maintain the spark! It turned our desires into a proper wildfire! I’ve found that such intimate exchanges with my partner helped me become much more open on sharing my true wishes and desires, which is something that many regular relationships severely lack.
To be honest, when we did manage to close the distance, it made us even closer because we’d developed intimacy whilst we were apart. No awkward moments when we saw each other again!
Share photos and videos of your day
If you’re not particularly into typing or writing, why not send photos or short video clips to your partner? Share anything and everything: what bargain deals you found in the store, what you are cooking, photos of a sunny day, a short video clip of you still groggy in bed on a typical Monday morning – the list is endless!
I’ve found that exchanging these pics and clips made me feel much closer to my (now) husband when we were in an LDR. I knew what he was doing, how he was feeling, how much he missed me or wanted me, and how much he was looking forward to our weekend together and what devilish plans he devised.
Pictures and videos are awesome to make things a bit more intimate and alluring, and to keep the flame alive. They don’t have to be nudes or suggestive – a selfie or clip of you freshly out of the shower with nothing but a bathrobe can be just enough. Or, how about sending your lustful gaze as an entree to more intimate moments later?
Be Experimental with Sex Toys
As we know, LDR couples lack of physical presence but thanks to technology, there is a solution for this problem. Mature couples have been using sex toys to masturbate together. There are many benefits in using sex toys in an LDR, from making you feel closer (more intimacy!) to allowing you to build trust and honesty with your partner. There are many sex toys available out there for different couples, such as the We-Vibe Sync Couples Vibrator, the Pivot C-ring or the Masturbator and Onyx2 Pearl Couple Set. Just remember to discuss things through with your partner and achieve mutual consent before you get experimental.
Intimacy in a Long-Distance Relationship Is Possible
Your long-distance relationship doesn’t have to be just about counting the days until you can see each other again. Instead, you can do pretty much anything that other couples do, but with a certain twist to it. Sex toys is a great tool that can help LDR couples to build intimacy when you are apart. Always remember that intimacy is important, so make time for it in your LDR!
If you’re worried, talk about it with your partner. If you miss them dearly, let them know. If you want them right now, share that too. Build intimacy whenever you have the opportunity, so that you can enjoy it all the more once you finally close the distance.
- Long-Distance Relationship Intimacy: Why Is It Important? - June 19, 2019