Heat up Valentine’s Day with temperature play 0 2699

Ella Paradis Temp Play | Ella Paradis Blog

Heat up Valentine’s Day with temperature play

What do you have planned for this coming Valentine’s Day? If you’re looking for something to heat (or chill) things up, you might consider experimenting with temperature play, a stimulating way to add a new sensation to your sex life. 

What is temp play, and why should you try it?

You know the feeling you get when you sink into a warm bath or the invigorating rush you feel after drinking a glass of cold ice water? Temperature play can inspire similar sensations in the bedroom. 

Temperature play is a form of sensory play that originates from BDSM. It’s technically a kink, but you can engage with it as mildly or intensely as you like.  It works by stimulating nerve endings and making them more sensitive to the touch. Temp play can also increase blood flow and heart rate, so you can skip the treadmill and head straight for the bedroom. Not only does temp play help stimulate your body, but it also has stimulating psychological effects. 

When to engage in temp play

You can use temp play during foreplay, as a way to unwind (whether that leads to sex or not), or during sex. You can engage in temp play to any degree you prefer. If you’re just starting out, start small and go slowly! Start with gradual temperature increases-–no need to break out the fire extinguisher (just yet, at least.)

Where do I try it?

Give your partner time to acclimate to the sensation before heading straight for the genitals. Start off with less sensitive areas like the back, buttocks, or legs, and start with small drips rather than an entire candle’s pool of warm wax. 

When you’re feeling ready for more sensation, and you’ve let your skin acclimate to the temperature, you can play around with temperature around the genitals. Make sure to ask your partner if the temperature feels okay. Wait for cues from your partner to let you know they’re ready to continue. A good rule of thumb is to stick to external play; anything internal can be unsafe or throw off pH. 

Try temp play while wearing a blindfold if you’re looking for more of a heightened sensation. Blindfolds can help people hone in on the sense they are experiencing. If you’re wondering how to incorporate temperature play in your sex life, you can try it as part of a BDSM scene. Tie up your partner (consensually), and tease and thrill them with a hot or cold sensation. 

You can also try temperature play as part of your masturbation practice! It’s a great way to shake up a tired self-pleasuring routine. It’s also always helpful to try a new sensation on yourself before you try with a partner, so you better know what they are experiencing. 

Ways to play with temperature

  • Use ice cubes or a popsicle

The great news about temperature play is that you can usually engage with it from everyday household items. Ice cube tray, meet the bedroom. Drip an ice cube on your partner’s lips, down their chest, on their nipples, or around their genitals. Feeling frisky? You can add both hot and cold sensations by dripping an ice cube on your partner’s genitals and then giving them oral. Don’t lick ice straight from the freezer, or you’ll have a major Christmas Story moment, and your tongue will get stuck on the ice! 

Hot day? You can bring popsicles into the bedroom and drip them on erogenous zones, or try sucking on one and then kissing your partner. You can also keep a bowl of ice water near the bed, and try dipping your hand in it and then tracing your finger down your partner’s body. 

  • Warm wax or warm water

You can use warm wax from a massage candle to help your partner relax with a massage during foreplay. Drip warm wax around the thighs. Before using it, make sure your wax isn’t too hot, and avoid the face and other holes for wax play. Also, don’t use any old candle you’d find in a store! Use a candle specifically designed to be safe for the skin. If you don’t have a body-safe candle handy, you can also use warm coconut oil for a similar effect. 

You can conveniently engage in temperature play in your shower. Warm water and direct pressure from a removable shower head on the penis, vulva, or anus create the perfect masturbation-sesh, foreplay, or shower sex. 

  • Warm or cool your sex toys

Did you know you can warm or cool your sex toys? How a toy traps temperature largely depends on what it’s made of. Glass or stainless steel work well for temp play, but you can also use silicone toys. The easiest way to warm or chill them is by running them under hot or cold water. Before using, you can check their temperature on your wrist; never go directly for the genitals without adjusting to or checking the temperature. If you’re using a cold toy, make sure to pair it with a condom to reduce any chances of the whole stuck ice on tongue situation, but around genitals (ouch.)

  • Cooling or warming lubes

You can pop lube in the fridge for a tantalizing experience. You can also buy warming lubes. Never microwave your lube as it might change the construct of the product, making it unsafe to use (and generally just too hot.) For more tips on ways to use lube, check out our comprehensive guide. 

However you decide to spend this Valentine’s Day, we hope your plans are full of orgasms, pleasure, and new sensations. 

As always, before trying something new, make sure to talk to your partner about it, so everyone is on the same page. Temperature play can be as mild or intense as you like and is an excellent way of saying, ready to Netflix and (literally) chill?

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