Gearing Up for Group Sex: 10 Must-Know Tips 0 265

group sex

Whether it’s an orgy or an organized sex party, if you’re dancing around in a group sex setting, you’ll likely encounter the question — “is this what I’m supposed to be doing?”

The truth is, when it comes to group sex, there isn’t a handbook. Of course, there are certain “rules” that need to be considered, but every situation is different.

Gearing up for your first group sex event can be scary. You may even find yourself in an internal Q&A session.

How does it start?

How do I let somebody know I’m into them? Or NOT into them?

What do I wear?

What are the snacks like?

Nevertheless, these types of questions are normal. There are many ways to go about group sex. And no matter how organized or unorganized your situation is, you can always prepare for the experience.

So, here are 10 things to know before entering into an orgy of any type.

1. Consent.

Consent is sexy. You like that? Does that feel good? You get the deal.

This should be a no-brainer.

Do not consent to anything you don’t want to do. In fact, you should say no to anything you are not 100% comfortable with, group sex or not.

On that note, don’t make anybody else uncomfortable. Respect people and their boundaries.

But remember, group sex can mean a lot of things. It may be a giant ball of people intertwining their body parts. Or a small groups of foursomes with onlookers. It may even amount to a number of duos going off or some swinger action.

With that said, it is in your best interest to know exactly what type of setting you’re getting into so that you can make the most of it… and prepare appropriately.

2. Dress Code.

Do you remember that lacey piece of lingerie you bought? The one you haven’t worn since trying it on in the store? Well, now is the time to break it out. 

At a sex party there is usually a theme, or at least a dress code. It could be formal wear, 80’s, masquerade… anything really. Whatever it is, make sure to wear something that you feel sexy in.

In other words, don’t be the person to show up in a t-shirt and leggings. Getting sexily unclad when the time is right is a part of the fun. So, throw on your favorite lingerie, harnesses or collar under whatever it is you are wearing. 

The same applies during a more casual group sex session — wear what makes you feel like the finest piece of china.

3. Group sex prep.

If you are planning to partake in an organized event, preparation is absolutely necessary. 

Shower the day of, wash your hair, trim your nails, shave unruly pubic hairs (if you prefer) — the whole 9 yards.

Additionally, be sure to take care of your interior as much as your exterior. That means no foods that will mess with your gut, digestion, or breath. Definitely avoid garlic and dairy. Aim for vegetables and cleanse your system prior to arrival. 

Lastly, set your own personal boundaries before the party starts.

And remember, it is perfectly fine if you sit back and watch for your first go-around — many people do this. Believe it or not, some actually prefer to watch over engaging with anybody sexually. 

4. Steer clear of group sex STI’s.

So, you’ll be having sex. With a handful of folk. How do you go about preventing STI’s?

An experienced formal sex party host/s will require a negative STI test for all participants. A less formal rendezvous will go off of the honor code. But every sex party will have gloves and condoms. Don’t hesitate to bring your own.

Oh, and please do not double-dip condoms. With each new partner, go for a new piece of latex.

5. Getting started.

No matter what, there will always be a twang of silliness or awkwardness when getting started. Somebody always has to make the first move.

Some parties will have an hour of mingling before the door closes. This is when the fun is set to begin. In some cases, everybody will sit in a circle, share their pronouns, small talk and then ease into play.

And if you find yourself nervous, talk to people first. Remember, it is perfectly fine to tell people it’s your first time. It’s (a) a great conversation starter and (b) a great way to spark people’s interest to show you a good time.

On the other hand, if you’re feeling bold, just go up to somebody you’re interested in and ask them if they would like to play.

Worst case scenario, if you’re terrified, just watch how others are interacting and follow suit. There’s no harm in being a follower in this situation. 

6. Jumping into the group sex mix.

Groups will always pair off, or ‘tri-off’ at different parts of the evening. 

Be thoughtful about approaching people to ask to join in. If they seem to be really hitting it off together, wait a bit and check back later. 

As you seek to find your match, start by making eye contact. If inviting looks or smiles are returned, approach them and ask if it’s okay to hop in.

In these types of situations, it is important to not be afraid of rejection. Remember, it’s a sex party. The options are endless. 

7. Don’t let your sexual identity limit you. 

Of course, don’t do anything you’re not comfortable with. 

However, if you’re in a group sex setting with folk who are not your normally-preferred gender, don’t be afraid to try something new. 

In large groups (5+), it is virtually impossible to stick to one gender when you’re in the mix. So if you’re comfortable, explore.

Isn’t that the whole purpose of sex parties anyway?

8. Pace yourself.

One thing is for sure in a group sex setting — there is going to be a lot of stimuli.

So take it all in. Savor the make outs, the cuddling and the pleasure-filled people watching.

There is no need to rush. The last thing you want to do is finish early (literally) and miss out on the rest of the party. 

9. Don’t hesitate to say no.

Back to consent we go.

Don’t feel pressured to do anything you don’t want to. You can quite literally show up, watch, and leave.

If somebody is interested in you, and you don’t feel the same, say no.

It is as simple as that.

Here are some ways to turn somebody down while respecting them as a person and being polite:

  • I’m actually trying to make a move on somebody else right now.
  • I’m flattered, but no thanks.
  • Not right now, but if I change my mind I’ll come find you.
  • I’m more comfortable just watching right now, but thank you.
  • I’m actually only attracted to (sexual identity preference).

10. Bring a friend… but ask first.

Bringing a friend along with can be a fun play, but it is important that you first ask the host if it is okay. 

Second, make sure it is a friend you’re very comfortable with, as you’ll definitely be seeing each other naked… and likely witness them do intimate things with others.

Third, you don’t have to be intimate with your friend by any means. Bring them as a point of contact if you’re feeling lost or nervous. Or have them tag along as an accountability buddy… or just because it would be fun to go together.

Do what you need to do to be comfortable. It’s a party — you’re supposed to have fun.

And if you’re not having fun, you know where the door is.

Just be sure to close it behind you.

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