It’s the topic of the day – everyone wants to know if you are “into butt stuff.” Chances are that your answer is that you’re curious to try it, but you’re afraid because so-and-so said it hurts. If you do want to give it a try, but you don’t know how to go about it (and don’t have anyone trustworthy to ask) here are a few pointers to put your mind at ease. If it’s done right and you take it at your own speed, there’s no reason why back-door stuff should be anything but extremely pleasurable.
It’s really important when you decide to venture into this realm for the first time that you do it with someone you completely trust and who will be nothing but respectful of you, your body, your needs, your preferences.
2. The wetter, the better
Unlike the vagina, the anus does not self-lubricate, so it’s really crucial to have some lube on hand. In this case, you can never have too much moisture. Not only does it minimize friction (typically, the only thing people ever find painful is friction from not enough moisture), but it also can help enhance the sensations on the nerve endings, actually making it much more pleasurable for both parties.
3. Tease and then play
Because of the function of the muscles in the area, they instinctively tighten unless you force them to relax. By first introducing your finger (or your partner’s finger) to the area, you can begin to train your muscles to relax and enjoy the sensations. Before any penetration happens, you should start by teasing the opening with a finger or a vibrating anal toy so that the muscles can begin to relax.
4. Start small and grow
Gradually, you can begin to use small toys and work your way into bigger plugs, etc. so that your muscles get used to the feeling of anal stimulation and begin to feel pleasure from it, not pain. If your partner is willing to help you gradually get more and more comfortable (and he/she should be!) then you should ask that this process progress as quickly or as slowly as you feel comfortable.
5. Find the position for you
There are several positions that will work well for back-door-entry: doggy style, cowgirl, reverse cowgirl, and flatiron (when you’re lying flat on your belly with legs close together and he enters you from above and behind.)
But the argument as of late is that the best position out there for anal entry is called the Matterhorn. Take several pillows or couch cushions and stack them in front of you on the floor or bed. Kneel forward and lean with your elbows resting on the stack of pillows. He can then kneel behind you and enter you from behind. This position is known to open and widen hips, making friction less of a problem, and it gives all the power of depth and penetration to you, so he will never go too far too fast.
Now go get busy with some back door boogie, and have a good time! 🙂