How to be Confident in Bed with a New Partner 0 7963

So, you’ve been seeing each other for however long it’s been: 3 dates, 3 months, 3 years. Regardless of where you are in your relationship, the first time you sleep with a new partner can be super awkward if you’re not completely prepared. Ella Paradis is here to prepare you with some tips and tricks to make sure you are fully prepared to make your first time with your partner an enjoyable, confident experience.


How can I clean it up down there?

Although pubic hair is definitely making a comeback, it is still the general consensus that no matter how much hair you do have down there, it should still be manicured and maintained to appeal to all senses. I mean, we ask him to do it …so we should too, right? So, get a wax, shave, hire a professional landscaper…whatever you do to keep it in check, do it. 

For you ladies who do your own grooming — buy a tasteless, odorless shaving cream for a pleasant, soothing feeling that won’t cause those awful red bumps around your intimate areas. A highly moisturized lotion that contains shea butter is also great to use post shave.

Wear the secret weapon

A woman’s greatest unseen weapon is their luscious, undeniably sweet scent that just draws men in. Learn how to wield this power by adding an aphrodisiac-laced perfume or body mist like the Classic Erotica Pheromone scents to your repertoire. Not only will you smell heavenly to him, but his brain will literally release I’m-really-attracted-to-you chemicals. Win-win.

Want some expert-level advice? Try out the Kama Sutra – Oil of Love. Slippery and warm to the touch, its arousing scent, silky look, irresistible taste, and tingling sensation will heighten all of you and your partner’s senses.

What should I wear for my first time ?

The last thing you want to do is kill the spontaneity of the first time. So, when you start to get into the moment and things are heating up, an elaborate outfit with a lot of hooks and belts and gadgets could really kill the vibe. Let’s make sure you’ve worn something super easy to get in and out of. The ideal outfit? A simple piece of lingerie can go a long way. Alternatively, you can always spice it up with a skirt and crotchless panties underneath. There’s no stopping you now.

How can I put a condom on in a sexy way?

Ever had those few seconds to put a condom on turn into a long juggling performance? Avoid this awkward situation by turning this solo act into an opportunity to get involved and make it an act of foreplay!

Ready to take control? Use one hand to firmly hold onto the base of his penis, and the other to slowly unroll the condom down his shaft. Alternatively, if you’re just having trouble bringing up the topic of putting on a condom, hand him a condom and say, “I can’t wait for you to get this on.” Whatever method you prefer, we guarantee that he’ll love your confidence and involvement.

Should I bring my adult sex toys into the bedroom?

Though one of the most exhilarating ways to spice up a romantic night, and potentially a way to make you more confident and comfortable, we recommend you tread lightly when playing with the idea of bringing adult sex toys into the bedroom without discussing with your partner prior. We highly encourage you to talk to your partner about what they may be into. There is such a wide variety of toys made for couples, you may be able to introduce something new to your partner that they never even thought of!


Have the thing she needs you to have

Guys – don’t show up to this little rendezvous without protection. Even if you know that she is on the pill or ring or patch, she still wants to protect herself from everything else. So please don’t leave it up to her to suggest that you put a condom on (and if she does have to, shame on you – luckily we prepped her for that earlier) because it can make things uncomfortable for your partner. What’s even more awkward is having to stop what you’re doing to go to the store and get one.

Clean your sheets… Please 

Before she comes over, you should always do a once-over and clean up your place. It really turns women off if they walk into a place where they know they’re going to be naked, and it smells like mildew and rotten cheese. It doesn’t have to be perfect for her (unless she’s high maintenance, in which case you better hire a professional to gut that place!), but your sheets should be priority number one. Please clean them so they don’t have to think about what happened on them before they got there. It wouldn’t hurt to light a candle to freshen the air and allow the dim light to set the mood, too.

Try out the Kama Sutra – Massage Candle that quickly melts from a candle to massage oil in a heartbeat. Nothing makes someone more relaxed than a warm, soothing massage to set the mood and in turn, boost each other’s confidence and comfort.

Having trouble with natural lubrication?

Lack of lubrication can easily kill the mood in seconds. If this is your first time and/or theirs, you really won’t know how your body will react until it does – annoying, right? While we recommend having lube on-hand for your first time, let’s not shove this option in your partner’s face. When it comes to choosing your lube, make sure to do your research! There are many options, and you should make sure you’re choosing the best lube for you and your partner.

Accept the awkward moments and remember that you are your toughest critic. The first time you’re together, it may be explosions of fireworks and the heavens may open up and sprinkle glittery unicorn fairy dust on your heads. But, then again, it may not. A lot of people lack confidence and experience awkwardness the first time (or a couple of times!) they have sex, so it’s important to remember to take the pressure off yourselves. Just relax, enjoy the moment, and laugh at the awkwardness if it happens. Chances are, you’re both nervous/excited so there’s no reason to be embarrassed. Enjoy the ride! ?

You might also like:

Dipping into Bondage: The How To for Couples

7 Things Every Couple Needs to Try in the Bedroom

The Importance of Real Intimacy and How to Achieve it with Sex Toys

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