If you’ve made it here, you must have read our breakdown of all things anal… and you want more. Lucky for you, this anal play Q&A is accompanied by a number of back door tips and tricks.
So, whether you are new to this entry point, looking to spice up your solo play or are prepping for your partner to assist in this frisky mix, you are in the right place.
Anal Play Q&A
So… why does anal play feel good?
The prostate gets all the good press for this one.
The prostate gland is the small muscular organ in men that produces semen found in male ejaculate. It is surrounded by nerve endings that lead to arousal when touched just right.
Now, what about women?
Well, women have a prostate-like button too. Commonly called the G-spot, this climax companion is actually found in the vaginal canal. You can indirectly stimulate a woman’s G-spot via anal, through the wall shared between the vagina and rectum.
Additionally, the concentration of nerve endings on the anus are what make even a finger stimulating. So, whether you insert a thumb, dildo or penis, you’re in line for a uniquely stimulating session.
How do you find the prostate gland?
The prostate is an internal organ. So, you have to venture into the anus to locate it. While going through the back door this is the most direct path to prostate stimulation, you can also do so by pressing/massaging a man’s perineum (aka the taint). This is the skin between the penis and anus. Internally, it feels like a fleshy bulb of tissue, similar to a woman’s G-Spot.
Does everyone have a prostate?
Only cis-gendered, assigned-male-at-birth men have a prostate gland in their anus. Women’s version of the prostate is called the Skene glands – aka the female G-Spot.
What is a rim job?
A rim job is an act of anal play where one partner licks the other person’s rectum.
What is pegging?
Pegging is a term used to describe a woman wearing a strap on and penetrating a man’s backside, replicating anal. You can learn more about pegging here.
Anal Play Tips & Tricks
Now that you’ve received a brief educational course on anal, it’s time to talk about how to make this kind of play more seamless and enjoyable for you and your partner.
1. Take it easy, partner!
Anal play is notoriously trickier than vaginal penetration.
So, don’t immediately start with penile penetration. Instead, start with a finger or a small butt plug. You want to make sure your partner is comfortable the entire time! If it hurts, stop immediately – shouldn’t be painful.
Prospective penetrators, try massaging your partner’s rectum first before inserting anything.. This way, you’ll wake up the nerves and get them ready for more.
2. Anal and lube go hand in hand.
Unlike the vagina, your backside does not lubricate itself or stretch when it is aroused. You are going to need lube.
Also, if you’re using a toy, be sure to to check what type of lubes are compatible. This lube is a good fit.
However, if you are keeping third-party playmates out of it, your options for lube are bit broader. Try this lube if you’re going to be performing a rim job, and this lube for penile penetration/fingering.
3. Communication is KEY.
Anal and all the glorious acts surrounding it are extremely intimate experiences. Make sure you and your partner have open communication about what you would like, what feels good, what you’re anticipating and what is off limits.
Intimacy is only fun when both parties are comfortable.
4. Safe words. Safe words. SAFE WORDS.
This should be a no-brainer for all your intimate acts.
Agree on a safe word with your partner before you dive into the dirty. Use this words if you become uncomfortable, experience pain, or just want to stop.
This word should be something that is easy to say with one breath. For example – Red, Apple, or Sushi.
5. Spicy, hot foods are an anal no go.
For the most pleasurable anal experience, you will want to prepare.
And by prepare, we mean avoid certain foods.
Some foods to say no to if you plan on entering that backdoor later in the day include spicy foods, beans, dairy… you get the drift. Avoid any bowel-reactant foods for at least 4 hours beforehand. If not, things may get a little messy.
And if possible, go number #2 before you welcome a foreign object in your anus. This will clear the passageway and make it more enjoyable.
Anal is no fun if your colon gets in the way.
Yes, when the anus is in the mix, the possibility of running into some secretions is there.
So, make sure that you are and your partner are prepared to handle a messy situation. And penetrators, don’t make your partner feel ashamed for any surprises that arise.
Remember, it’s all natural.
7. Don’t forget which finger goes where.
Please. Please. Please. For all the vagina-owners out there, make sure your partner knows that cross pollination is not cool when it comes to anal.
If a finger, penis or a toy was once in your bum, it has no place in your vagina until it is cleaned. Otherwise, the UTI fairy will come knocking.