As much as society wants to reinforce it, sexuality is not binary.
This means that sexuality is more than being straight or being gay. There are numerous terms that describe various kinds of sexual attraction, behaviors and romantic orientation.
How Should You View Sexuality?
Some are inclined to view sexuality as a spectrum, where one side represents those who are totally straight and the other represents those who are totally not. However, viewing sexuality in this way is a flawed concept.
How is it that something as broad and unbounded as sexuality can be tied to a linear spectrum?
Simple answer — sexuality can’t be reduced to a spectrum. In pursuit of better representation, some have proposed that sexuality is actually better depicted as an infinite plane…
… where sexuality is truly limitless, and where everyone can occupy a space that is unique to them.
This way of thinking is intended to empower every person to attach and detach themselves from sexuality-related labels in whatever way they see fit.
No right. No wrong. What now?
Once you can understand that sexuality is only as rigid and as fluid as you welcome, you can begin to explore what this means to you.
It may be helpful to reflect on some of these questions:
- Are you confident that your past sexual and romantic experiences have fulfilled your desires?
- Do you experience certain sexual curiosities that you have not acted on? If so, why have you not acted on them? Are you fearful of being judged, misunderstood, or rejected?
- Do you feel that how you are labeled by society is representative of your feelings?
- Do you feel a difference between sexual and romantic orientation?
For those who are anything but cis-gendered and straight, sharing your sexuality with others can be difficult and emotional. While many people will find immediate freedom in coming out, the liberation for others may be overshadowed by unsupportive responses from friends and family, amongst other things.
It is important that you feel empowered to better understand and explore your sexuality on a personal level before sharing outwardly.
These 6 tips will help you to navigate this space, learn more about your preferences and gain confidence in your sexuality.
For those that experience sexual attraction, the process of better understanding and exploring your sexuality will likely include a partner.
The pressures that come with partnered sex are real, especially if you are new to acting on your curiosities.
But what better way to relieve stress and play around than to masturbate?
Masturbating allows you to get comfortable with your own body. It gives you the chance to get up close and personal with what brings you pleasure, while also teaching you what you don’t like. Knowing these things will help you once a partner is introduced into the mix.
No matter the genitalia you rock, there are toys that are sure to take your masturbation sessions from mediocre to mind-blowing.
Here are some favorites:
Satisfyer Pro 2 Clitoral Stimulator
Experience the next generation of sex toys with the Satisfyer Pro 2 Clitoral Stimulator. Utilizing pressure wave technology and featuring 11 different settings, this toy will take you on an orgasmic ride. The Satisfyer Pro 2 Clitoral Stimulator is also quieter than a whisper, 100% waterproof and the winner of multiple international design awards.
Rabbit vibrators are an ultimate climaxing tool for those with a vulva, providing stimulation to both the clit and g-spot.
Who wouldn’t be down for a 2 for 1?
Inspired by the 80’s sensational 10.0 C-Ring, the Testarossa 10.0 is rechargeable, features 10 different intensity levels and is 100% waterproof. This toy is built with extra space for her pleasure, so you can not only use it in your solo session, but can bring it on as an adventurous accomplice for couples play.
2. Press play on porn
For the cis-gendered, heterosexual folk, representation is everywhere. Movies, media and mainstream porn have heavily contributed to the normalizing of this kind of sex. At the same time, the lack of representation elsewhere has contributed to society viewing queer sex, polyamory, group sex and other types of sex as untasteful and disruptive.
However, in recent years, the porn industry has stepped up its game. With on-screen sex more accessible and diversified than ever, porn is a fabulous option for those looking to better understand and explore their sexuality.
Watch what you think you like and watch what you think you don’t.
Masturbate while you are at it.
Find what turns you on.
Oh… and masturbate some more.
3. Read up
While watching porn is a great way to source validation and to learn about what gets you feeling hot and heavy, it can also be helpful to read a bit.
Dive into a blog or a book that touches on sexuality, sexual experiences, gender and relationships. Invest in stories and characters that you connect with and be inspired by the sexual narratives that you engage with.
4. Talk to a professional
Better understanding and exploring your sexuality is easier said than done. While the challenges of coming out are well known, it can be just as difficult to process curiosities and orientation internally.
For this reason, it is often a good idea to connect with a professional. There are therapists who specialize in this topic. They can be of help as you seek to understand more about your sexual self.
You can leverage an online platform to find a therapist that is best suited for you and what you are trying to achieve.
5. Chat with queer friends
Whenever you are struggling to process something, especially when it has to do with sexual orientation, it is always a good idea to chat with people who have experienced something similar.
If you are looking to better understand and explore your sexuality, don’t hesitate to spark conversation with your queer friends or acquaintances. Their insights will stem from lived experience, and may help you navigate some of the moving pieces that you have been trying to process.
Additionally, if you are someone who has had a hard time accepting your curiosities or desires to explore, talking with queer folk can provide validation.
Know that what you are feeling is not abnormal. It is not unacceptable, nor is it a sin.
What you are feeling is valid and important. You deserve to speak to those who will lift you up. When it comes to chatting about your sexuality, queer friends can be a shinning source of positivity.
6. Self love… and some more self love
While this tip is much less concrete than the previous, it is just as essential.
Many view their sexuality as a big part of their identity. If this sounds like you, it is crucial that you begin to focus on you, from the inside out.
Self love may be a buzzword these days, but the value of doing so is real. Take the time to love yourself. Finding peace, patience and passion for who you truly are and how you are sexually oriented is the first step in confidently exploring and understanding your sexual identity.