Many LGBTQIA+ sex and identity myths stem from heteronormative behaviors and ideologies. When you factor in the sweeping influence of the media and other mainstream content, it makes sense how these frisky fables gained popularity.
However, these myths are well overdue for some serious debunking. So, whether you are part of the LGBTQIA+ community and have spent countless moments correcting those around you, or are a curious kitten in the cis and heterosexual world, you are in the right spot.
Here are 10 of the most common LGBTQIA+ sex and identity myths, and the narratives that actually deserve the spotlight.
1. Lesbian sex is just scissoring.
Yes, many lesbians are practitioners of ‘scissoring’. However, sex between two women doesn’t stop there.
This is one of many LGBTQIA+ sex and identity myths that Hollywood and mainstream porn have perpetuated. And this has been the case since motion picture made its debut.
For those unaware, scissoring is the sexual act of two vulva-owners rubbing their clitorises on one another’s. This sex position got its name from the way it looks.
As a stimulating sex position that doesn’t require a penis, its no wonder as to why this move is common amongst lesbian women. With that said, oral sex and strap-ons are often also part of the equation.
Oh, and just to be clear, lesbians are not the only people who enjoy a scissoring session. Requiring nothing more than two folk with vaginas, this sex position welcomes anyone who meets this criteria with open arms… or legs.
2. Bisexuality isn’t real. You can only be attracted to one gender.
If you are bisexual, you’ve probably heard this before:
So, is this a phase?
Or, do you prefer men or women?
And you can’t forget about the question – so, you are really into open relationships?
Simply put, bisexuals are bisexual. That’s it.
Many people have found it difficult to comprehend the idea of fancying multiple genders when their own attraction is limited to one.
This, however, is no excuse to fuel the myth that bisexuality is a phase, fable or product of indecisiveness.
That being said, it is very much possible for a bisexual person to be attracted to one gender more than another. The 50/50 split is frequently assumed, but let’s be real…
… human attraction is far too complex for this to be true.
3. Trans people don’t use the genitals they were born with for sex.
Trans people have sex. And some trans folk rock the genitals they were born with. Others enjoy a spread that confirms their identity.
So yes, the idea that trans people don’t use the genitals they were born to have sex is one of many silly LGBTQIA+ sex and identity myths.
And just like sex between any two people (or many), there is no blueprint for intercourse when one or more partners are trans. Things like hormone enhancers, hormone blockers, and the toting around of goods that do not confirm one’s gender bring many trans folk to engage in sex in different ways.
Every trans body is different. The way they have sex is dependent on what they are comfortable with and the pleasure they prefer… go figure.
4. Asexual people just haven’t found the right person.
Misunderstandings plague the asexual community. And the countless sex and identity myths about asexuality have largely contributed to the spread of these tales.
So, to set the record straight – asexual people feel little to no sexual attraction to anyone. The notion that they just haven’t found the right person is utterly false.
Furthermore, just like all sexualities, asexuality is experienced on a spectrum. Some have romantic fantasies, some experience sexual speculation, and others have zero interest or thoughts about sex and romance whatsoever.
5. Gay men have higher sex drives.
Now, this LGBTQIA+ sex and identity myth is just begging to be busted.
Statistically, men have higher sex drives than women due to higher levels of testosterone (T) in their bodes. This can account for the differences in sex drives between men and women.
And considering that gay men are, in fact, men, there is nothing to support the idea that homosexuality and rampant sex drives are in any way related.
6. Pansexuality isn’t real.
Pansexual people are up against numerous LGBTQIA+ sex and identity myths. In a world where gender is so often boxed up with a bow on top, this shouldn’t come as a surprise.
Pansexuality is the attraction to people regardless of sex and gender identity. In other words, the attraction pansexual people experience has no boundaries.
Pansexual people are attracted to men, women, transmen, transwomen, nonbinary people, etc. Things like gender expression, sexual orientation, and genitalia simply do not matter.
7. You are either a top or a bottom.
Like most LGBTQIA+ sex and identity myths, this one offers a half-baked belief that needs to be addressed.
But for starters, a ‘top’ is somebody who is penetrating in a gay relationship. A ‘bottom’ is the person being penetrated.
And while many people prefer to only penetrate or be penetrated, who is to say enjoying both isn’t an option?
The term “vers” is used to describe a person that is pleased by both giving and receiving.
8. Queer and trans relationships are extremely different than heterosexual relationships.
Why yes, sexual preferences, positions and pleasures do differ between heterosexual and queer relationships.
Other than this, all is the same.
Romance is romance.
Intimacy is intimacy.
And things like commitment, communication and curiosity are no different.
If you believe otherwise, it may be time to turn off that stereotypical TV show and talk to some queer folk.
9. Bisexual and pansexual people are more prone to cheating because they are attracted to everyone.
LGBTQIA+ sex and identity myths love to paint bisexual and pansexual people as incapable of commitment.
But let’s be clear, just because someone is attracted to more than one gender does not mean monogamy is off the table.
Infidelity is a choice, and totally unrelated to gender and attraction. Rather, unhealthy relationships, insecurities, the temptation of desire and poor decision making are most frequently the culprit.
10. Intersex and trans are basically the same thing.
For starters, intersex is an umbrella term describing any person whose reproductive or sexual anatomy does not fit into the binary buckets of male and female.
On the other hand, transgender people identify and express their gender in a way that differs from the sex they were assigned at birth.
And while a person can be both intersex and trans, to view them as the same is wildly incorrect.
The list of LGBTQIA+ sex and identity myths doesn’t stop at 10.
These 10 LGBTQIA+ sex and identity myths are just a glimpse of the delusion surrounding the queer community. So, be cautious of what you see on TV, social media and in mainstream porn. Stereotypes are what fuel this content.
To avoid falling victim to these fallacies, you must first remove gender and sex from any and all boundaries.
Sex isn’t only between a man and woman.
Gender is fluid.
And anyone who says otherwise is, well, bologna.